Hi Xuan! How are you? I’m glad you found this site

***Before I answer your questions, please understand in order for me to “really” help anyone out, I first have to find out their background, dating, social and relationship history,” as all these variables play a HUGE part in the “real answers” you’re looking for.
Also, please note that the more specific you are with your unique situation the better answers I can provide for you, meaning, if you give me vague and broad problems, I can only give you “vague” answers. ****

Let’s tackle your questions:

” For the sexual part, it may not necessarily be a harassment, so is there a way other than the ’sorry, I do not want to be discussing this.”–Xuan

Could you give me examples of the exact words being said?
Here’s the thing, “Sexual Comments, Harassment, Flirting, all this plays under the realm of subjective…what’s considered a down-right harassment law-suit waiting to you, could be a flattering comment to someone else.

Before I answer your question, I want to eliminate any possibility that maybe they’re just trying to flirt, and maybe you should look at it more of a flattering gesture–which should be looked at as a compliment. However, there is a time and place for everything.

I’m not saying that you should except rude and degrading comments from anyone, I’m saying that from my experience in working with many clients, a lot of times their perception of reality is misleading to “what’s really going on”.

In other words, it’s always much easier looking at a situation from an outside perspective(me, being that outside perspective), but I’m going to have to trust what you say, versus me actually being there with you to give an “in-the-moment” analysis(which is always best)—-so we have to base information on how you perceive things from your point of view(first person perspective), which sometimes, is distorted.

I hope I didn’t confuse you.

Now, if you eventually conclude: “Yea, this person IS hitting on me, but he’s “not my type”, or “Wow, this is not the right time and place to talk about such topics.”

You can either play it discreetly or you can be blunt about it.

For example, let’s say they made “the comment”, you can either switch topics (as simple as this sounds, it works). But something is telling me you’ve tried doing this before, but wish to do it much smoother? If this is the case, please be more specific on exact words and situations so I can give you a more accurate answer.

Now, sometimes being blunt is the best policy. Let’s say they made “the comment.” Being blunt would mean you replied with, ” Really? Listen that doesn’t fly with me.”

Also, something to hold into account is your positive and uplifting take on things. Which is a good take, however, please note that a great conversation should be like much like a roller-coaster.

It should have it’s “ups and downs”, high moments and low moments.

Sometimes you burst into laughs, sometimes things get a bit more calm and relaxed. It’s this mix of different emotions all in one take, that makes a very exhilarating conversation.

Can you imagine doing one thing all the time? Sure, in theory to always “have fun and laugh” sounds great, but can you seriously imagine laughing all, the, time? That would be exhausting!

As I said, try to mix it up a bit, note that things don’t always have to be “cheery and positive”.

Hope I’m making sense, you tackled a very broad topic and I could go on and on with many different factors on how this pertains to you personally, but this is enough for now.

Cheers!

–Parker

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