It must be great traveling the world and getting paid to party…
…this is the biggest assumption I get from most people.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great. I love it! But, it’s funny how much we’re reminded through our own struggles that life’s best perks don’t come easy. I’m reminded this daily as I struggle to keep this blog alive and running.
When I first set out on my journey to mingle and forge relationships, I read many books and attended many seminars. But I didn’t want to just be like every other “philosopher” out there, not only did I want to know what I was talking about, I also wanted to make sure that I knew first hand that these(sometimes)wacky ideas worked.
I remember times where I went out fourteen days straight honing down my skills. I attended various social events like art exhibits and fundraisers, making a point to charm and befriend anybody and everybody.
I slept, ate, and dreamt about Mingling. But don’t worry. You don’t have to go through such extremes like I did to improve your life, I’ve done that for you.
On any path to self improvement, one often finds themselves doing it alone at first, I know I did. My first few months I went out alone, day and night… it may not seem like a big deal to most(that’s cause most people don’t go out alone), but it’s rather scary. Your friends will be there with you through thick and thin, so it’s safe to say if you’re not the “life of the party” they won’t all of a sudden throw your friendship away.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have that luxury when I went out alone. During my first few nights I had the worst case of approach anxiety. And it was obvious…people sniffed me out like a skunk in the room, “He’s here by himself. Weirdo! Run!”
Because of this, I had to developed skills on how to blend in with the crowd–making it seem as if I arrived with everyone, by being the Life of the Party. And that’s what I want to teach you today, a couple of simple steps to get the ball rolling.
How to Be The Life of The Party
Let me ask you something. Why do you suppose people go out? Think about it. Why do people go out to drink, when they could do it at home? Why do people go out to dance, when they could do it home?
It’s simple: People Want To Be Looked At. And people love to size each other up, i.e. “People Watching”. If you are out and about, You Will Be Looked At–and you will be judged. Whether you know it or not.
Have you ever seen someone who looks like they would rather die than have a good time? I’m sure you have. We all have! What do you suppose the odds are that people will automatically gravitate towards this person……………exactly.
I want you to memorize this mission statement:
“ If I look like I am having a good time, I must be Good Times.”
This statement holds true to not only yourself, but anyone and everyone.
The name of the game is to use the fact that you will be looked at to your advantage. We’re going to do this by Riding the Momentum. I want you to “ride the momentum” of pleasant interactions.
Upon entering any room, the first thing I want you to do is to use an Ice-Breaker and talk to someone, it can be about anything. Bartenders are ideal as it’s their job to converse and be friendly towards you.
Once you’re enjoying the moment, turn to a desired person and open them up. You are going to ride the momentum of pleasant interactions.
Once you’re “in the zone”, people around you will take notice. You will use this to your advantage, as neighboring people take notice they will ask themselves, “What’s all the loud commotion about? And why’s everyone being so lively in that particular area in the room?” And everyone will have a common shared interest, YOU.
If done correctly, as you make your way around the room there will be a radius of people laughing and enjoying themselves–think of yourself as a “tornado of good times.”
Overall strategy: The trick is to always look like you’re having a good time, and if you’re not,at least try to look productive.
So which is it, are you going to be the person who looks like they were “forced to have fun”, or someone who wants to grab life by the throat and enjoy the ride.
Pick your poison.
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