I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive

Hey! So I was browsing around today and came across a letter from a girl who lost a lot of weight, but looks at it more as a curse than anything else:

I lost 60 pounds (hooray!) and physically I am a completely different person. Before the dramatic weight loss, I didn’t really go out to try to find dates. I’m 23 and have never even “talked” to a male let alone go out with one. Being overweight made me very self-conscious physically and since no males ever showed interest in me, I never gave the effort to pursue.

I’m pretty sure asking every guy that approaches me, “would you talk to me if I were fat?” is not the best way to go about things.

Now, I have been fairly okay with never dating: I have career/education goals and I have always been independent and very able to take care of myself. Having someone romantically in my life just seemed like another thing to put on my plate. But seeing as 77% of my friends (I did the math!) are married and the other 23% are in serious relationships, I thought maybe I should think about doing the whole “dating” thing. In the past, I would go out to social events with my friends but never had any males approach me. Of course I assumed it was because of my physical appearance, but I always thought “oh well, their loss.” Now I go out with friends and I get bombarded by men, especially since I’m the only one in the group unattached.

I feel cocky to say this, but I know I have a great personality. I have goals, I’m ambitious, educated, really sweet and caring, very funny (I think everyone I know can attest to that), patient, and just all around pretty easy going. I want to start dating, but I can’t get past the thought, “You know, this guy wouldn’t even give me the time of day if I were still fat.” What can I do to get rid of this or work past it? I know you say that physical attraction really does matter to men, but I have a pretty awesome personality and I want that to be, if not of most, of high importance. I’m pretty sure asking every guy that approaches me, “would you talk to me if I were fat?” is not the best way to go about things.

After reading this I immediately related to her, big time!

A Little Known Fact you may not have known about Asian Culture

From a third-world country perspective, the chances of a child surviving till adulthood are still pretty much slim to none, for reasons of cost in food and medical expenses.

So the goal is to hope that your kids stay strong and healthy, and because food is scarce, strong meant eating “healthy,” which really meant as long as your kids are eating. The very fact of having food on the table is considered a blessing. Growing up with this mindset ingrained into my parents, they sought out to make sure I was eating healthy.

Food in my family would be the equivalent to those milk commercials in the 1990s…remember those?

Does a body good!

When I drank milk as a kid at that age, that’s pretty much what I thought would happen too…

Back To My Point…

What is it with kids refusing to eat?

“Kids would rather play with their food than eat it.”

Growing up, I undoubtedly fell into this category of stubborn eating rugrats. But because my parents wanted me to grow up big and strong, they weren’t having none of it. I remember them calling out my bluff by telling me that I couldn’t leave the dinner table unless I ate all my food. And they patiently waited with me, 2 hours later…I eventually gave in.

After many years of this, eating became more of a habit than an essential need to eat when I was  hungry. So I started to eat out of habit, which in turn got me very nice and big– that’s an understatement, more like, fluffy. Right Gabriel?

Comedian Gabriel Iglesias
Five Levels of Fat

Asians have always taken pride in how healthy we eat, and I’m not gonna lie as we do eat very healthy. But, our starch consumption is a different story. The reality is that we Asians love our white rice, but little did I know that white rice is the worse thing anyone can possibly eat if they’re trying to be healthy. Because white starch turns into sugar, which is good but only to a certain degree. Too much sugar equals a straight ticket to the fifth level of fat, “Daaaaaaymmn.”

By the time I was 13, (5 feet and 4 inches), I had the waist size of 36 inches. That’s about 170 pounds.

Which reminds me. Kids are so mean! Growing up, I was teased relentlessly about my weight, here were the most popular phrases and names amongst my peers back in the day: “Fat Ass, Lard Ass,” and my personal favorite, no really, I actually thought this joke was pretty darn witty at the time(as long as it wasn’t used on me, that is!)–”Your so fat, you sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.”

Here I was 13 years of age. Yes, I know. Dweeb Alert! lol. I was probably in the “healthy” stage of fat.

Eventually, during the summer of 10th grade I decided to do something about my weight and worked out. My weapon of choice?

TAE BO! –with Billy Blanks, baby!

I lost weight, got noticed by some girls, but I was still so horrible at socializing with others that it didn’t make much of a difference.

My biggest transformation came three years ago as I seriously worked out, and started on my quest on Self Branding myself. It was only after this dramatic transformation that not only was I getting noticed by woman, but people started treating me much differently.

“It’s from this experience that I truly believe that subconsciously,

people want to be around pretty people.“

I say this because I’m coming from both spectrums, like the girl who wrote that letter… I know what it’s like to one day not being noticed based on looks, to being noticed and treated very differently (in a privileged kind of way) by the world.

I feel that now-a-days respect is given(or easily given) to me rather than having to work for it, and don’t get me started on the countless discrimination stories about people who are considered obese.

The other day I read a story about how overweight people are being placed in the back of their work place…upon investigation, their employers confessed that having people who don’t look the part in the front gave off “bad vibes” in the work place.

How I Got Over It….

I was very jaded on how people were treating me now versus the old me two years ago, but eventually, I found it hypocritical that I myself enjoyed the company of attractive woman but me myself, wasn’t in the least bit of shape. In fact,I barely had anything going for me.

“Ha Ha.. silly me,” I thought to myself. So now I just accept it for what it is, and tell myself that I now deserve every attention coming to me because I did work hard to get here.

Although, I can’t help but think to myself from time to time, “You’re only being nice to me because I look the part.“

So what do you think? I want to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Tagged as: fitness health, Self Branding

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