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I wanna be real with you on how I honestly feel about Valentines day. I hate it. Why do we need a “holiday” to express how much we care for one another (isn’t that what EVERY major holiday is for anyway?)? Just like New Years: it’s over-hyped, over-played, over-done and over-rated. Just another way for the corporations to brainwash us into giving them even more of our hard earned cash.
The reason why relationships fail can be narrowed down to the root problem of over-looking the little things that people do for us, it’s the lack of contentment and appreciation for one another that’s ruining perfectly good relationships every single day.
Instead of saving up for that one special occasion to show someone how much we love her/him, let’s talk about how we can express our gratitude towards our loved-ones EVERY SINGLE DAY.
“Every Single Day”, that sounds like a long dreadful eternity, doesn’t it?—let’s just say, “daily” instead. So, how can we express our love and appreciation for one another on a daily basis?
First off, I’m not saying that you should make every day Valentines Day. That’s retarded. Who in the world would wanna make love on a bed garnished in rose-petals and cinnamon incense every day of their lives? Nevermind, I’m sure there are a couple of crazies out there who probably think that’s rather appealing.
Moving on to . . .
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The Power Of Appreciation.
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I once worked with a client who had a girlfriend who had cheated on him. Still upset over the situation, he griped, he vented, he complained . . .
“She’s such a bitch, and I didn’t do anything to deserve this! I treated her so well and she fucked me over—bad! Damn witch.”
[ . . . I patiently waited til he finished.]
“Let me ask you something, what was it about her that made you love her so much?”
“She cooked the best steak. Mmhmm SO good . . . among other things.”
“And what was it about you that she loved?”
“She once told me that she loved how much I surprised her with roses and cooked dinners for her after a long days work.”
“Toward the end of your relationship, did you still surprise her with spontaneous cooked meals?”
“Hell no, why would I? I already had her.”
“What if she stopped cooking your favorite steak?”
“She did stop . . . and it sucked. I had to start going the Steakhouse down the street—and it always paled in comparison to hers.”
“EXACTLY. Just like how you looked elsewhere for what you loved about her. She looked elsewhere, cheating on you. Now, I’m not saying that failing to surprise her with cooked dinners is the sole reason why your relationship failed; I’m saying that these things add up . . . and eventually it reached a point where she just didn’t feel appreciated anymore.”
Far too often we forget the little things that make us so appealing towards others—while also over-looking the little things people do for us. What once kept us on our toes (a new love interest), became something we got used to. We get too comfortable in our current situation and routine, thus making us lazy and less eager to put forth the extra effort to keep the relationship alive and flourishing—assuming, we’ll forever “have it in the bag.” News Flash: RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK. They need regular upkeep to keep the machine running smoothly and fluidly.
Why do we change the oil in our cars every few thousand miles? Because we don’t want to find ourselves alone and stranded on the side of the road—and we know this. If we don’t keep up regular maintenance on our cars, the end result is far more devastating. It’s baffles me how some people treat inanimate objects much better than they do actual people—the same people who are supposedly really important to them.
Relationships and cars work the exact same way. You must make sure that both are in good health by checking up on them from time to time. But don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying that women should constantly be surprising their men with home-cooked meals served in stilettos and fish-net stockings. Although that would be AMAZING, that’s not what I’m saying at all.
I’m saying that acts of love aren’t about showering each other with flowers and candy, it’s about how well we “get” each other.
People confuse romantic chemistry for what real love is. True acts of love start with recognizing and appreciating all the little things.
It’s taking care of the baby at night so your partner can get a good night’s rest. It’s making coffee in the morning because you know that your partner can’t tie their own shoe without caffeine flowing through their veins. It’s about goin’ down on them with a smile because you KNOW he/she likes it and it’s the right thing to do.
Again, it all boils down to appreciation. Understand one-another by giving weight to some of the little things in each of your lives. STOP and smell the goddamn roses every once-in-awhile, and leave V-Day to the couples that secretly hate each other.
–Parker
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
This one is hard hitting, Parker! I just got into this relationship with a great woman and I’m gong to use the advise here to show her appreciation for quite some time thanks for the awesome post! You still have that magic! Cheers!!! :^D
wow. congrats mel-!
thanks for allowing embracing in my methods and applying them to your life.
i always knew you’d eventually get it in the beg
MR. PARKER LEE … WHOOAAA …. I think you just “SAID SOMTHIN’”!!!
ha ha thanks my man, i appreciate the support!!!